Frankenstorm? No problem mon

Now that Frankenstorm is here, it has given me the opportunity to discuss my love for all things "survival" oriented. While Frankenstorm has brought out the panic in a lot of New Yorkers, Stephanie and I are calm, cool, and collected. A lot of this has to do with the fact that in typical Mobley fashion; we have enough Scotch to last us through a solid 250 days. But another little known reason is that for years, my cousin James Blades and I have spent countless hours preparing for a real life "Red Dawn" situation. Whether that meant stock piling iodine tablets for water, or (more importantly) purchasing multiple law enforcement level flashlights, knifes, shotguns, or zombie killing tools, when it comes to emergency situations ,the Mobleys/Blades are insanely prepared. In fact, our wedding present from my cousin was this sweet ass zombie killing, robber maiming, Axe/Shovel/crowbar combo, known as a "Crovel". While some might question the need for such a tool, we view it as a totally necessary addition to our apartment



Especially considering the fact that the one place you actually need a tactical nine shot Mossberg (New York Fking City), you can't own one within city limits. Therefore, all my weapons are sitting in Idaho with Bob Mobley in what we deem "Bat Cave West". Because of this, owning crovels, is key to city zombie apocalypse survival. If the world really goes to hell though, it will be guaranteed that I head out west to meet up with James (whom you can tell from this picture) is stocked up for survival like the PX Arnold raids in the movie "Commando".

Now, some may call us crazy, but I would rather be Patrick Swayze in Red Dawn, than one of the suckers who thought the Russians were friendly, and ended up in a hole. For those interested in learning the arts of survival, a good place to start is Amazon's "Zombie apocalypse" starter kit. No joke, this exists, and is awesome.Whether's its Frankestorm, riots or zombies, we be chillin.

                                                                   WOLVERINES!!!!!

James Bond...You have lost my respect

 

What is the world coming to when James Bond's new drink of choice is.... wait for it...Heineken? Now I understand, in today's day and age, that everything is for sale. However, some things are sacred, like James Bond drinking a Martini. Being a man who enjoys a Martini (or 8), I have to admit that I am devastated by this decision. James Bond was one of my go to excuses (to my father, brother in law, and many a bar patron) of why I drink a clear liquid in a somewhat feminine glass. Now, I enjoy scotch, but I can already hear my family being all over me about this. Since I am an advertising executive (yes, I called myself an "executive") I do not blame Heineken for this at all. This integration is pretty amazing, and their actual creative, along with their digital assets, are pretty stellar. However, I do blame MGM & Sony pictures, for their greedy little pockets. It’s not like this movie isn't going to open at $250MM... They really had to sell out to this point? All this being said, I am VERY excited for this movie, but I am truly very disappointed in this decision. Especially because its a Heineken. At least it could have been a Guiness or some funny, bad tasting, warm english beer like Boddingtons. Help me Roger Moore... You're my only hope.

Best Halloween movie ever? You're Welcome

                            This Halloween edition of my blog is brought to you by NCC Media

                                          NCC Media - Delivers America's Best Consumer

Having recently watched "Hocus Pocus" (which made a suprising leap into my top 5 favorite Halloween movies), I started thinking about which Halloween movie was truly the best. How I would characterize the "best", would be a movie that demonstrates the following five traits of Mobley Awesomeness:

                                                                  1. Festivity level
                                                                  2. Scare level
                                                                  3. Cheese level
                                                                 4. Repeat viewability
                                                                 5. Metalness of soundtrack.

                                        Based on these traits, It truly came down to 3 movies.

1. Shocker "1989" - A CLASSIC Wes Craven masterpiece, with a killer late 80's metal soundtrack. This movie is about a seriel killer whom gets executed, yet doesnt die, and goes on to torment a young Peter Berg. I highly suggest seeing it, and I also highly suggest listening to some of the soundtrack. The movie's "title song" was recorded by The Dudes Of Wrath, which was comprised of KISS' Paul Stanley and producer Desmond Child both on vocals, Def Leppard's Vivian Campbell on guitars, Whitesnake's Rudy Sarzo on bass guitar, and Mötley Crüe's Tommy Lee on drums. Also backing vocals by Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony & Kane Roberts. There is also KILLER song written by the german metal band "Bonfire" called "Sword and Stone". This is a must for any metal fan. The super awesome bonus is Megadeth's cover of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" that was made for the movie, which kicks ass.

                                                                           Bonfire
                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvzGExdOAVQ

                                                                         Megadeth
                                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJ_soJ8l_sg

2. Nightmare on Elmstreet 3: Dream Warriors "1987" - In my opinion, the best NOES of them all. A young Patricia Arquette, Robert Englund at the pinnacle of the series, and a killer soundtrack led by Dokken's title track "Dream Warriors". This is truly Freddy at his best, and is highly worth watching again if you haven't seen it in a while. Highlight of the film is the young girl who wants to be an actress, gets to become a "star" when she is plunged head first into a tv by Freddy. This is true horror writing genius, and I should probably get the screen writers to guest blog.

                                                                         Dokken
                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mtGU00po08

3. Ghoulies 2 "1988" - This movie is just ridiculous, but ridiuclous in the most awesome sense of the word. The movie is centered on a group of demons usually summoned to earth by Satanic worshippers. Unfortunely, these demons look more like cute gremlin like monsters that terrorize humans in a non scary fashion. The movie itself was actually fairly successful on home video, which is another great example of why the 80's were awesome. Bonus points for a Goulie popping up through the toilet (which, lets face, is totally everyone's nightmare). Cap this concept off with the movie's lead soundtrack song "Scream until you like it" performed by the classic father of shockrock, Blackie Lawless' W.A.S.P... and you really have something special. The video also kicks ass, as the Ghoulies were a featured element of it. W.A.S.P

                                                                         W.A.S.P
                                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymGToGuG-Rg

If you have a chance, you should rent (or buy at kmart for $4.99 on dvd) all of these killer films. On another note, I'm fairly certain Justin Bieber is a millienial Ghoulie sent here to torture my friends and I...

James Hetfield & Justin Bieber Pant Sagging

Mobs' first blog post is brought to you exclusively by the most kick ass tech site in the world - Digital Trends. Check it out at www.digitaltrends.com - To sponsor this blog please contact the Viking known as Mobs.

James Hetfield, as far back as I can remember listening to music, has always ruled. His vocals terrorizing, his rhythm guitar blistering, and his overall attitude, ass kicking. Justin Bieber, on the other hand, is a super silly loser. This silly Canadian should really throw himself in front of a truck (or at least pull his pants up). Not only does his music pollute my ears, and the ears of the youth of this country... his pant sagging is out of control. Someone needs to tell him that this fad was created by inmates in prison to show other inmates that they were "down" to be prison "Bitches" (watch Oz for ref). Now I have no problem with this... but clearly someone along the line misunderstood this "fad" and passed it on to moronic little men like bieber. What happened to our children looking up to awesome men like James Hetfield? Someone please help me understand what is going on.... Beiber should really learn how to say "Never".. to wearing his pants like this. Remember, Be excellent to each other, and party on dude...